Happy Anniversary to Us!

Yesterday was our FIVE year anniversary.   We started the day by going to see the most romantic movie we could think of: the Princess and the Frog!  We saw it with Gma Karen, Aunt Katy and Gma Joyce (Lucy's Great Grandma).  (We mentioned that Gma Joyce would be coming a couple of days ago and every time we mentioned the movie after that Lucy would yell "Gma Joyce come!" over and over-she was pretty excited.)  For Christmas Marilyn and Steve gave us tickets to see Wicked in SF that night. I have wanted to see it for ages and was really excited. We got a call that day that our UCSF appointment needed to be changed to Tuesday-so we decided to book a hotel in the city so we could see the show that night and then just drive down the street to the Dr. the next morning. We loved the show and it was really fun to see it with Julie & Chad and all the Blodgetts.  

Our hotel was nice and only half a block away from the theater-we were really glad we had it when the show got out so late. This morning we woke up and headed to UCSF where we saw a Lymphoma expert to get a second opinion on the need for radiation.  He looked at our chart and said strongly, "You have had a hell of a lot of treatment haven't you?" We said YES.  He felt strongly that Danny DOES NOT need radiation based on the incredible amount of chemo he got.  The long term risks of radiation (heart diseases etc) don't make it worth it.  He also told us that the chances of Danny getting Lymphoma again are very small.

We're feeling very lucky and very blessed.  Looking back on five years, all I see are miracles: we got into a school that wasn't accepting applications, we had a miracle baby, Danny married me! There are so many examples.  I don't want to get too mushy, but I loved Danny five years ago, and I love him even more today.  I look forward to all the years to come.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone! We are having a fabulous time hanging out with our families and enjoying our Christmas traditions.  We go in to UCSF early next week to get tests done and will soon know if Danny needs radiation. Thank you for everything-for checking up on us, praying for us, hugging me when we meet unexpectedly somewhere, for everything. We feel very loved.  Have a wonderful Christmas. Bless you.
Love,
 The Leiningers

No More Chemo!

On Tuesday morning Danny went in for the PET scan that would determine if he needed two more cycles of chemotherapy or quit early. We waited two grueling days to hear the results. I bit off all of my nails and gained three pounds from the stress eating! We tried to busy ourselves and managed to have some fun with Becca and celebrate my Dad's birthday. When we got home from the party I started getting Lucy ready for bed when Steve got home. He had gotten an email from our Dr. saying that "the scan showed no sign of the disease and an enlarged spleen. Excellent news."
We were like, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! We thought that meant we were done with chemo, but really needed him to come out and say it. Steve texted him (it pays to be the guys accounting firm! We have his private email and cell number:) and finally got the okay to celebrate. We were in shock for a bit before I totally lost it. We cried from joy for a little while and then called all of our fam. When I called my house the birthday party was still going full swing so I heard a huge cheer and screams on the other end of the line after I told my Dad the good news. It was a very surreal night. We have been doing chemo for ling enough now that we don't quite remember what life should be like or what we should do without it. Today we met with Danny's oncologist. He consulted with his colleagues and I guess they are in disagreement about Danny starting radiation. The plan was to radiate where the large mass was in his chest, but it is close enough to his heart that there are risks to radiation, so they only want to do it if they think it will really decrease his risk of reoccurance. They're sending us to UCSF for a second opinion. If they decide on radiation then we'll be doing about a month of that-probably starting in January. If not, then we're just done. Regardless we are excited to have a break in December. We'll be seeing our Dr. every three months for a couple years, than every six months for a couple years and will be officially "in remission" after five years (after which we'll only be seen once a year). I guess that goes on for the rest of our lives. Crazy.
Thank you for praying and fasting for Danny. I know it contributed to our good news. We feel so lucky to have such incredible family and friends supporting us.

The "chemo team" after we heard the news. Marilyn and I have different areas of expertise-and we all needed each other to get through this.

Lucy kept bringing us tissues because we would randomly break down. After awhile she started fake sobbing to feel a part of the group. She pretends to cry all the time (much like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty she runs to a bed/couch and dramatically heaves)-but this time she audibly fake cried-it was hilarious.

The verdict is....

DANNY IS DONE WITH CHEMO!

I'll write all about it tomorrow when I have the energy. We've spent the last little while crying, laughing and being completely shocked and relieved. We feel so blessed.

Surprise!

I just came to my mom's house to welcome them home from Utah...and BECCA opened the door!! After days of mourning her departure-shes here for another week!! Bless you Kyle. Thanks for sacrificing your wife. Thank you so much for letting her come and be here with me. I miss my sisters so much at this time-they are so supportive and fun for me to have around.
Thanks for coming Bec.
Just felt like I had to tell someone.

Thanksgiving

This week has gone by so quickly. I LOVE when time flies by these days. On Wednesday Danny got another blood transfusion. We're hoping its his last, but it went without a hitch and he immediately felt much better. It is amazing the difference two pints of blood make! He comes home with so much more color in his face and a lot more energy. On Thursday we had a low key Thanksgiving. I have never watched the parade before-but when Katy called to tell me there was an Elmo float I got excited and Lucy really liked watching all her favorite characters float down Times Square.

We decided to go against our normal tradition and go out to eat at a restaurant. For just the five of us we decided we'd skip the hours in the kitchen/cleanup etc. I am not a cook so I thought it was awesome. We went to Scotts in Walnut Creek (very nice) and everyone had there turkey dinner except for me-I had a cheeseburger. I know, I know...but it was delicious and I didn't even feel guilty about it.







I have never particularly enjoyed Thanksgiving. I don't cook, I don't particularly like the food (I just eat the rolls:). This Thanksgiving, however, I have reflected a bit more on what I am grateful for. It is somehow easier to recognize all you have when things are hard. I'm missing a lot of things I used to have, but it reminds me that much more how lucky I am to have what I do. I'm grateful Danny is receiving great medical care. I'm grateful we have good insurance and wonderful parents who can support us. I'm grateful for Marilyn who feeds, babysits, plays and cares for us in so many ways. I'm grateful for family and friends who pray for us and look out for us. I'm grateful for Lucy and that she is at the perfect age at this exact moment. I'm grateful Danny doesn't have any cancer cells in his body anymore. I am SO grateful that we are nearing the end of this experience. I have no idea what will happen next for us but more than anything I want to be finished with chemo. I am so grateful for our Savior. For the moments of deliverance and comfort He has offered us. For the many priesthood blessings we have received and the promises made in them. They give us hope everyday that life will be different soon. Thank Heavens:)

When I asked her what she was thankful for this year she said:
*Lamby (her lamb blanket she has slept with since she was a tiny babe)
*Gma
*Mommy
*Danny (she's been calling Danny by his first name for awhile. I love it when she calls him "My Danny")
*Baba (grandpas)
*Princess books
*Princess jammies
*Bibi (her binky. I know, she's two and still has a binky. I keep thinking when cancer is done I'll tackle the binky and potty training. Neither of us need any more trauma right now though:)
*Baba again
*Baba Steve (who was she talking about before? I guess it was you Baba Greg! She yelled "Steve" when she said it-it was pretty funny)
-I am grateful for all of those things/people too. They do a lot to keep her a happy little girl.

Becca was here/Day 8

We had an AWESOME week when Becca came to visit. It was a Week 1 in chemo so I went to chemo with Danny each day and Becca and Lucy played and had a great time. When we weren't at chemo Becca and Lucy played some more so Danny and I could just relax. We had such a good time. It has taken me three days to blog about it because I am only now able to be strong and not cry when I just think of Becca leaving me. She gives some fun detail of her trip HERE
Highlights:
Mom, Grandma and I spoke at a stake RS leadership meeting and got this cute four generation shot.

Lucy looking like a big girl.

Becca and I drove to Sacramento to go to the SO You Think You Can Dance season 5 tour. It was INCREDIBLE. Becca and I have specific dancers and dances that we LOVE from that season and they didn't disappoint us. We were dorky and bought shirts-I cherish mine:) Thanks for coming hundreds of miles to go with me Becca!



Here is Becca looking super excited because she is seeing the very sweat drops on Jason's face:

Becca and I also got crafty and made a couple cute things-to show off:



Thankfully after Becca left, Lindsay came home for thanksgiving. Lucy loves having such awesome aunts who are willing to dance and play with her-we are so lucky. Today is chemo Day 8-possibly our last infusion day. Next Monday Danny will get a PET scan that will determine if we are done with chemo or if we have to go another two rounds. At this point we are crossing our fingers and praying that we are done. If so, he will get three weeks to recuperate a little before we start a month of radiation treatments. Radiation is supposedly easier than chemo with few side affects other than exhaustion. We're used to that, so it doesn't sound too bad. We will be fasting on Sunday the 29th with the prayer that we will be done with chemo. If you're willing, we'd love the prayers and help.

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow I'm giving a talk in church on Faith Through Adversity. We're taking bets around here to see how far I get without being hysterical. This made me feel better:

Half Moon Bay

This past weekend Danny and I were able to get away overnight to Half Moon Bay. Lucy had a great time with her grandmas and grandpas and was really excited to get to pick up Aunt Becca from the airport. Danny and I got to go to the temple on our way out of town which was wonderful-we haven't been able to go together in a long time. It wasn't a long trip, but we were able to relax, check out the town, and catch up on some of our favorite tv shows:)




Crazy huh?! They had about 6 of these huge dinosaurs at this craft/outdoor shop off the road.

Relief Week at LAST!

We are so excited that it is relief week. Although we shouldn't be planning on only doing six cycles, we are HOPING so much that it is hard not to feel like we're hitting the end. Either way, we need a break. I forget that while this week can be hard emotionally, it is so nice that Danny is more himself. Yesterday we went on a Veterans Day outing with my parents. We went to the outlets for a little sale shopping (Danny slept in the car). Lucy is quite the shopper. She was putting outfits together and finding "super cute!" clothes for herself. After a little shopping we took Lucy to the Nuttree where they have a cute little train and carousel. She wanted Grandpa to go with her and had a great time.





Then we indulged my Dad and drove all the way to Davis for the Habit-his favorite burger place. Danny and I were surprisingly emotional just being in Davis where we have so many memories. We loved that cute town and all the people we knew there and miss it.
After coming home and taking naps, Lucy got her first hair cut! We went to our family hairdresser Lynn-who gave me my first haircut. Lucy was really excited-we had prepped her-but got freaked out when we got there-she has been scared of strangers lately. So she sat on my lap and watched her favorite Princess sing along (thank heavens I brought the little DVD player) sucking a lollypop and did fine . I was unexpectedly sad at the thought of cutting off her cute little curls, but I was too busy keeping her happy to care when we got there. She looks SO CUTE.

I love it, she looks like such a big kid now! She didn't like it first as you'll see in the video...


The best part of the day was that Danny and Lucy got to play together after dinner (yes, I cried from joy). We switched up some of the rugs around the house and Lucy decided that the living room rug looked like a magic carpet (from Aladdin). Danny played Aladdin and Lucy was Jasmine (wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress). It was so fun.
(this videos a little long)

Cycle 5 Week 2

Well, we have had a busy week doing this,

this, (yeah after Halloween costume sales!)

and this,


Danny has had a pretty rough fifth cycle. Our nurse practitioner explained that by the fifth cycle his body is simply exhausted of being "toxic". The fatigue and pain are cumulative and by now he has experienced enough chemo that he is just a lot weaker. His shots have given him a lot more pain this week, and while he has some good painkillers that usually knock out the pain, this week they are much less effective. He is simply taking more of them, and they're just taking the edge off. The pain killers did mask a lot of fatigue though-when he went to get his blood checked his hemoglobin was considerably lower than normal and he needed another blood transfusion. He spent the whole day in the hospital, which wasn't fun, but hopefully he'll have more energy this relief week with all his new blood.

Sorry I haven't been very good about updating lately-it isn't as fun to update on the harder weeks. On the up side-Becca is coming in less than a week! We're going to this:!!!!

Halloween

We had a terrific Halloween. Our good friend Jennifer made Lucy the most beautiful Cinderella dress you have ever seen. It fit her perfectly and she LOVES it. I found some sparkly silver shoes at Target that were perfect glass slippers and the outfit was complete. I should have videoed her reaction when she saw the dress-the look of pure joy on her face was priceless. You can imagine her reaction when I tried to take it off. She twirled and danced all evening and asked whoever was nearby to be her prince. She also made me sing "so this is love" on repeat while she danced.



Grandma Karen is a Kindergarten teacher so Halloween started on Friday for us when we were able to go to the school parade and class party. Lucy loved seeing all of the costumes and was nice enough to take pictures with mom's students (she is a celebrity over there!). She also went to Grandpa Steve's office and to get some candy and be generally admired by coworkers. Saturday we went to the Anderson's and trick or treated around my neighborhood. After weeks of practicing her "trick or treat" "thank you" and envisioning how the evening would go down, Lucy would walk to the door, ring the bell, accept candy and race off with only a solemn look in reply.


She walked around the neighborhood with quite an entourage as well-six adults to one toddler.
She had a great time and fortuently is young enough that she forgot the holiday is about candy, so Danny and I are sneaking treats out of her bag at nap time:)