In one more sleep

Tomorrow we leave for-

To see-

We JUST CAN"T WAIT. It is like Christmas Eve around here! Lucy is beyond excited. She is currently running in circles around the room towing her rolling suitcase while we listen to Princess songs. Disneyland here we come!

Yosemite and Deep Thoughts

This week we had the opportunity to go to Yosemite overnight. We had never been during the winter, only with the crazy crowds in June, and we loved having the park to ourselves. There was quite a bit of snow on the ground, and along the paths, but it was beautiful. The forecast said rain so we were expecting to get wet but the weather turned out perfect.  We drove down Tuesday morning and spent the afternoon walking along the little Yosemite Falls path and visiting the museum. 

We stayed at Yosemite Lodge and the next morning walked around the meadow.  Lucy didn't stay in the stroller long, she loved running along the path and walking through the snow.  On every bridge we walked over she asked for her Ariel swimming suit and asked if she could jump in. Unfortunately most of the water was frozen over...so I said no. 

(sorry for so many pictures-I have very few pics of Lucy and I in general-so I included them all!)


Doesn't Danny look great?

This week I have seen a huge difference, although I think I say that every week.  I am a greedy creature.  During all those months of chemo I was LONGING for this point-just to be done with chemo and be normal again. Now that we are done and basically normal I still want more. We read a good article last night from last conference by Elder Watson on being temperate. He sighted some much read scriptures that included temperance I realized that I always skipped over that virtue. 

"Being temperate means to carefully examine our expectations and desires, to be diligent and patient in seeking righteous goals."

I am still being taught temperance.  It is maybe taking me a little longer than it should, but hopefully I'll get it soon.

On a lighter note...Danny's hair is turning gray (get my pun! lighter note! ).  Okay, he isn't actually gray yet, but his hair is growing in, well, much lighter looking. It is also super downy soft like a little babies.  I really need to google "post-chemo male hair growth" because I have no idea if it will stay like this or change.  He would look very distinguished if his hair went gray, kind of Cary Grant or Paul Newman-esque. At the same time, those guys were "mature" in age in the movies and poor Danny is only twenty-six.  I guess we'll see!

Christmas...was a month ago

For journaling purposes I am still going to post some Christmas pics even though it feels like forever ago. We had a really fun December. After our good news and trip to Utah we brought Aunt Katy home and stayed at my parents house for two weeks.  We ate, shopped, and played constantly. Lucy loved the attention from Aunt Katy and Danny felt well enough to start playing too.

Exercise is really good for Danny right now-not only will it help him get some strength and energy back but studies show exercise decreases your chance of cancer recurrence.  We started walking in Lafayette for a change of scenery. Lucy loves the "Princess Park" at the end of the loop.

Lucy was old enough this year to really get into Santa. We wrote him a letter and she was sure he would bring her some princess presents. 

Here she is on Christmas morning. I woke up before she did, but Danny wouldn't let me wake her up. Fortunately she woke up soon thereafter and excitedly started calling for me.

 Lucky for her she had been a good girl and Santa brought her a cool Princess castle. She was incredibly spoiled by her grandparents and received MANY more princess gifts as well. All of her presents were wrapped in princess wrapping paper, which was handy because she knew exactly what was for her.

 

 

 

Lucy and I were both really bumbed Christmas is over.  Valentines day just doesn't seem as exciting somehow. Fortunately Santa brought our family a trip to Disneyland in February-so we have something new to look forward to.  Lucy wants to talk about it every day and can't wait to go "where the princesses live".  I can't either-it's where all your dreams come true!

Beach Trip

It has been awhile. We got an awesome new camera from Santa and I immediately took 500 pictures-but the new camera memory card is messed up so they are not on my computer.  I think I can get them back but until then, no Christmas pics, no new pics. But in good news-we are fully on our way to recovery! This week we met with Danny's oncologist where we got the official word that we wouldn't be needing any radiation.  He told us a little more about what to expect in these next months which was exciting as well.  While he has been feeling a little better every day the acute affects of the chemo have only been "out of his system" for about a week.  In a month the Dr. says he'll be feeling pretty good and maybe normal by March.  When I think back on what things were like only a month ago I am astounded at the incredible difference.  The steroids are leaving him at last so his face is much less puffy and with some new hair growth he is looking more like his old self.  He has started shaving again (which is one downside!) and looks so cute with his new soft downy hair.

"Recovery" isn't a very specific job title, but we are filling our days well enough. (Frankly I am loving having Danny home with me every day. Not many wives get to have their best friend on all their errands, walks and activities:) We go on walks every day, do errands and relax during nap times.  Danny just joined the gym with me and swims (in a wetsuit it's so cold!).  Once a week we go on an excursion somewhere.  Last week we went to Pacifica and played at the beach. Lucy LOVED it so we may make each trip to a beach in the future.

Without cancer and chemo as our immediate fears, all the other fears for the unknown future seem to have cropped up again.  I have always been a planner and have liked having a general plan for our lives with some subtle changes here and there. Cancer just put a gigantic hole in our life plan-and it isn't something we can really leave behind us.  I'll have to get used to not knowing what is in store for a little while.  In the meantime when I look in the moment, everything is great and I can appreciate our incredible blessings.

Welcome 2010

Hello New Year!
We celebrated the New Year with a special ceremony where we ripped down all of our drug charts/food restriction lists/ and chemo calendar. That entire corner of the kitchen looks clean and empty now.  We threw away all the drugs we will never need again (and saved some of the pain killers that will come in handy if we break an arm or something) and put Danny's weekly pill holders in the recycling.
Goodbye 2009!
(and good riddance.)

 

 

 

 

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Yesterday was our FIVE year anniversary.   We started the day by going to see the most romantic movie we could think of: the Princess and the Frog!  We saw it with Gma Karen, Aunt Katy and Gma Joyce (Lucy's Great Grandma).  (We mentioned that Gma Joyce would be coming a couple of days ago and every time we mentioned the movie after that Lucy would yell "Gma Joyce come!" over and over-she was pretty excited.)  For Christmas Marilyn and Steve gave us tickets to see Wicked in SF that night. I have wanted to see it for ages and was really excited. We got a call that day that our UCSF appointment needed to be changed to Tuesday-so we decided to book a hotel in the city so we could see the show that night and then just drive down the street to the Dr. the next morning. We loved the show and it was really fun to see it with Julie & Chad and all the Blodgetts.  

Our hotel was nice and only half a block away from the theater-we were really glad we had it when the show got out so late. This morning we woke up and headed to UCSF where we saw a Lymphoma expert to get a second opinion on the need for radiation.  He looked at our chart and said strongly, "You have had a hell of a lot of treatment haven't you?" We said YES.  He felt strongly that Danny DOES NOT need radiation based on the incredible amount of chemo he got.  The long term risks of radiation (heart diseases etc) don't make it worth it.  He also told us that the chances of Danny getting Lymphoma again are very small.

We're feeling very lucky and very blessed.  Looking back on five years, all I see are miracles: we got into a school that wasn't accepting applications, we had a miracle baby, Danny married me! There are so many examples.  I don't want to get too mushy, but I loved Danny five years ago, and I love him even more today.  I look forward to all the years to come.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone! We are having a fabulous time hanging out with our families and enjoying our Christmas traditions.  We go in to UCSF early next week to get tests done and will soon know if Danny needs radiation. Thank you for everything-for checking up on us, praying for us, hugging me when we meet unexpectedly somewhere, for everything. We feel very loved.  Have a wonderful Christmas. Bless you.
Love,
 The Leiningers