The Best News

Yes. That is right. The other day we got THE BEST NEWS. At the end of our last cycle Danny went in for a PET scan. The PET could not detect ANY actively growing cancer cells in Danny's body. We are really excited. Unfortunately this does not mean that we are done, and nothing has changed for the next five cycles ahead of us. We still need to fight the cancer so that Danny's lymph system does not even remember what cancer feels like. It still feels great to know that what we're doing is working. Danny's blood counts were great after the transfusion as well so we're really excited about our Utah trip. We're hoping the "relief" part of Relief Week will be present this time around. After Danny's uncomfortable prednisone crash last cycle our Dr. is tapering him off the steroid more slowly this time, trying to limit the shaky, and anxious affects. Overall this has been a MUCH better cycle and we're hoping that we can just keep knocking these cycles down.
Danny and Lucy replanted the garden with winter veggies. We're excited to watch them grow. (yes, only two-year-olds garden in tu-tus)

Transfusion/Update

I was thinking of all these cute vampire titles I could use for this post-but I was getting too corny and decided to just cut to the chase. This week Danny's red blood cell count got too low before he went in for chemo on Day 8 so he needed a transfusion. The two liters of blood he received were radiated, and then he went in yesterday and got it pumped into him through his port. He didn't instantly feel energized but he does seem to have more color in his face. Receiving the blood took six hours-I was waiting at home and didn't know what they were doing to him in there-six hours! It felt like forever. He says he doesn't notice a big difference, but I hope it helps somehow. We are three days into our neupogen shot week and Danny is starting to get a little achy but is generally feeling good. He went to the Wellness Center today for his cooking class-I'll make him blog about it soon. He comes home all excited about food and nutrition (I'm glad one of us is!). We are starting to get really excited about our upcoming trip to Utah. We are driving out during Relief Week for Lindsay's concert (October 1st 7:30 at the Tahitian Noni Theater in Provo-come if you're around-its going to be awesome) and Clayton's birthday (yeah 6!). It is so fun to have things to look forward to.
Pre-Blood


Filled to bursting

Cycle 3 Week 1 Report from Danny

I cannot tell you how happy I am right now to be feeling as good as I
am on a Day 6 of a Chemo week! Last cycle at this time I was in real
desperate measures thinking that I was not going to be able to last
the day. I was pacing myself to death and counting the minutes until I
could take some sleeping pills. So, needless to say, I was really
nervous heading into this next cycle. I did have hopes that it would
be better since we realized some of the mistakes we made
overdosing and mixing the anti-nausea drugs caused the torture, but I
was still nervous with how much it hit me last time.

Since then, there has been a lot of fasting, prayers, and positive
reinforcement and support and I must thank everyone for that. I have
felt the blessings of the Lord so strongly during this week of chemo.
My body and mind have reacted so much better this time. I have been
able to do things, focus on things, rest, and have a pretty good week.
I was able to go out to Walnut Creek with Christy and Lucy, and last night I went
to a Nutritional Cooking class at this Cancer Community Wellness
Center with Mom. I couldn't believe it! I feel hopeful again, that I
will be able make it through this treatment. I pray that this will
continue and continue to ask for all of your prayers and good thoughts.

The wrinkle that has happened this time has been what I found out to
be the "Prednazone Crash". Prednazone is a steroid that I take a lot
of for 14 days straight, and then suddenly I stop it on the day of
"relief week". I always look for relief week as my glimmer of hope at
the end of the 2 week struggle, but I was so "wigged out", the first
couple of days that I had to call the doctor and see what was going on
with me. I was really anxious, depressed, and just mentally,
emotionally and physically really wacked out. It is really hard to
explain. When I called and explained to the doctor on call she was
like, "oh, you are totally on prednazone crash". I was upset that I
wasn't told about this before and to expect it, but I was happy to
hear that what I was experiencing was something explainable. We were prescribed some longer lasting anti-anxiety medicine that seemed to help me. It took awhile to wear off, but we were luckily distracted by Luke coming and going to SF, etc. That helped a lot. I'm hoping that we will be able to cope and handle it better this next time. I'm hopeful right now and feel confident that we can.

Tomorrow I meet with Janet, the nurse practitioner. On Tuesday I have
my day 8 infusion. And then it is on to shots week. Please remind me
to take the narcotics before the real pain sets in this time! No need
to have a Wolverine experience this time around... especially since I
never get the adiantium bones.

Other things- I am looking a lot different. I have gained a lot of
weight and am really puffy in my face. It's kinda weird to look in
the mirror sometimes.

I love you all and want to thank you all again for your fasting,
prayers and support! They all mean a great deal to me and I pray that
the Lord will bless you in return.

Here is a random shot of our chocolate lover:

Cycle 3 Day 1

We're a quarter of the way done! So far so good!

San Fran

Something you probably know about me is that I don't typically like surprises. I like to know what to expect, I like to plan for things. I'm afraid cancer is really conflicting with my personality. Relief week has not provided the "relief" we expected this time around. Danny had a rough couple days and when we finally called in we learned he was experiencing a prednisone "crash". He is on the steroid for fourteen days and unfortunately it takes a couple days to get over. I resented each day that it took away from our much anticipated "relief". Fortunately one moment it was there-and the next moment the symptoms were gone and Danny felt pretty normal. The the fun began. Danny's oldest brother Luke flew in to town Thursday night to celebrate with us. We have been looking forward to it throughout this cycle and really appreciate the sacrifices he (and his wife who is a complete saint) made to come here. We had breakfast at Chow's-Danny's favorite place in Lafayette and played all morning then dropped Lucy off with G-ma Karen and Baba Greg. The rest of us drove to San Francisco where Luke got us reservations at Le Meridien hotel for the night. We had some delicious Thai food for dinner, ate hot chocolate and slept in gigantic, fluffy beds. This morning we ate at the Ferry building and explored the farmers market and craft stalls. We drove to Sausalito and enjoyed their beauitufl walking paths. It was really nice just to all be out together. It felt "normal"-and I just crave that. It is so easy to be grateful for what you have when you are surrounded by natural beauty. Now, a whole bunch of fuzzy iPhone pictures:

Relief Week

We've made it to relief week at last! We began this morning with a trip to Davis. We stopped in Vacaville on the way up to visit the new Nut Tree play area. They have a choo choo train, carosel and a bunch of free activities. Lucy loved it and it was really fun to hang out as a family.



Afterward we tackled the student pharmacy in Davis. I got most of our prescriptions filled with minimal hassle. Lucy and Danny played /rested on the lawn waiting for me. While Danny rested Lucy chatted with Aunt Becca on the phone.

Driving into Davis was weird. It felt totally normal-and then I saw a whole row of bikes pedaling over an overpass and I realized how much I missed it. After a fun lunch and browse at Borders we called my former visiting teacher Sister Gubler who was kind enough to let Danny take a nap on her bed and entertain a Lucy and I. When Danny feels good we almost forget he has cancer-until he he hits a wall and gets super tired. We really appreciated the rest and break from the heat. Afterward we got to visit with Danny's Elders Quorum presidency and their families. We love these good friends. The ward (with some major help from Linnea!) actually made Danny a quilt with everyone's signitures on it. They also wrote us sweet notes. We really appreciate the beautiful quilt and all the effort that went into making it. We really feel the love and prayers you guys have sent our way.


To top off an awesome day we were able to meet with Jamie-a family friend that is six months into his remission from Hodgkin's disease. He brought us TONS of helpful supplements and things that made his treatment easier-along with a lot of tips and good advice. Sometimes it is so nice to know that someone else has survived and knows what you're experiencing. Thanks for listening Jamie-we really appreciate your help and understanding.

We've had a great, if exhausting day. We'll have to take it a little easier tomorrow-but I'm determined to enjoy every minute and appreciate this week.

Letter from Danny

As many of you know, this last chemo cycle was a very difficult one. It was straight up Hell. I feel like I am only now far away enough from it to actually report on my week. For one, the procarbazine that we added to the mix is definitely a heavy hitter and really knocked me off a bit. The whole feeling is difficult to explain. But, that mixed with the steroid and then some bad reactions and overdosing on anti-nausea medicines came to together to a perfect storm. I felt like I was being tortured in some cruel way. I was utterly fatigued, but my body and mind were restless and I couldn't sit still. So, I would walk around the yard or court a couple times, come back and try to lay down because I felt awful, and then have to get up and do it again because I couldn't rest. They were definitely not my bravest moments. I broke down a lot because I just did not know what to do and could not get any relief. I would just pray for night to come so that I could take my sleep medications and get knocked out. This all climaxed to a point sunday night when I knelt on the ground and started shaking and crying for it to stop. We called the doctor on call and mom/dad/christy explained the situation and they said that I was suffering from a reaction to the mixing and overdosing of anti-nausea medicine. They told me to take Benedryl to stop the shakes and calm me down and to cut out one of the anti-nausea and only take the other when necessary. It took a bit until I calmed down, but I eventually did. I was still a bit hiped and had to walk things off still that evening, but I eventually wore down and night finally came and I was able to take my sleep meds and hit the sack.

The next day was my last day of procarbazine and we were much more conservative about taking the anti-nausea drugs and cut out one completely. I did much better that day. The day after I went in for infusion and began the next stage of the treatment, which is shots. They have lowered the dosage of the shots, which will help lower the pain (and possible use of the narcotics). So far, I'm tired and fatigued in the head, and feel like an old man...but I appreciate every moment that I am able to find at least some sort of relief in some way. I am so happy to be past that first week!! And I look forward so much to enjoying the next week!

I seriously considered many times during that tough week that we had to tell the doctor to lessen the intensity of the treatment, because there was no way that I could cope with this again. But, now that we see some of the mistakes we made and changes that we can make on our side, I have hope again that it will be better next time. That we will be able to cope and get through it. The walking thing was good, and if I can now be able to rest after it...I can do that I think. Christy also was inspired and thought of going in the pool...greatest thing in the world!! I felt so good when I was going back and forth in that pool! We also pulled out the drums and started tapping away, and that was very therapeutic. So, I hope and pray that with these and some other coping mechanisms, we will be able to handle these dang chemo weeks and get through them!

The doctor mentioned also, that if they don't get any better they sometimes reduce some of the dosages and sometimes they do that anyway on these advanced BEACOPP treatments. So, we will see. For now, we will continue with the same treatment but be highly conservative on our anti-nausea regime and hope that that will prevent the crisis we saw this last time.

At this point I really have to thank Christy, Mom and Dad for being on the ground getting me through that Hell in those moments. You did everything possible and were the only things that got me through that very difficult time. And to those who called and talked with me as I walked. You helped get my mind off of things and put thoughts of hope in me. Thanks for everyone's prayers too. I truly felt your prayers. I honestly hit walls I did not think I would pass, but I know that through the power of your prayers and the mercy of God that relief and solutions finally came.

In other news. I have gained 11 pounds since I was diagnosed!

Something that I thought was interesting as I was listening to the Book of Mormon as I was walking around was Lehi's first experience in his vision of the tree of life. He first sees a man/ angel and follows him. What I find weird here, is that he is leading him through a dark, dreary waste. Why? Then, it wasn't until Lehi was traveling in this darkness for many hours that he began to cry unto the Lord for mercy/relief. It was then that he was then shown the great field and tree. Why is it that Lehi was first taken through this darkness and then not shown the tree until he asked...?

5 And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me.
6 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him.
7 And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste.

8 And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.
9 And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field.
10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.


Love you all. Danny.

Spoiled part 2

While Lucy has really gotten spoiled with gifts lately, writing about it made me realize that I have too! This week I bought several things for myself (it was a hard week, I couldn't help it). On Saturday I bought Lucy a toddler bed at a garage sale. I was so excited. It is cute and small and will be perfect in a few months when Lucy is a bit more acclimated to our new home. The other day she threw her leg over the edge of her crib for the first time and while that was as far as she got, it made me happy that I have a little bed all ready for her. I also bought myself one of these:

I am so excited. Last week Marilyn and Steve were out of town so I was on my own with Danny and Lucy. It was week 1 so we pretty much stayed home all day. I almost went crazy several times-and in one of those moments I decided that I should start running. I haven't been running since my freshmen year when I ran cross country. I have never enjoyed it-but it is effective, it can be quick and it gets you outside in the morning. I was also inspired by the half marathon that the Blogdett/ Leininger families participated in last week. I have no lofty aspirations like marathons, but I think running will provide me with some good personal time outdoors with Lucy. The stroller is awesome. I worship the revolving wheel and shocks. It is SO easy to move around. I think the cost of the stroller will really motivate me to get out there and use it:)

Finally today is September 1st. We are done with one month of Chemo, with week 1 of cycle two and with waiting for the sequel to Hunger Games. Bless Heaven.