Feed them,
change them,
clothe them,
replace binkie,
keep them from crying if possible
x 2
I remember nursing being a bonding time with Lucy. With these girls-I feed them as fast as I can and pass them back and forth with Danny to burp/change them. If I'm alone it is worse-I nurse both of them and when one needs to burp I hoist her over my shoulder, usually de-latching the other one. Someone always ends up crying.
I don't think I talk to them as much.
I know I don't hold either one as much.
It all really comes down to attention. Each one of my girls needs my full attention and it is hard to spread it out evenly-especially when everyone is crying at once.
Well, this is whiny-but I'm tired. I feel better having just written my worries out-they are only one month old, I'll get the hang of it.
Those girls will know that more than anything you loved them. They're lucky to have you as their mom.
ReplyDeleteThis is the number one thing that I struggled with having a second child. There is just not enough mommy to go around and there never will be. It's hard to admit, but it's true. With one child, you can be there for everything, with more than one, you can't. You just try to meet their needs. I still feel guilty that Leah doesn't get as much "attention" as Jakob did, but guess what, Leah is way more independent and secure. So who knows, maybe our kids don't need as much attention as we think they do. I'm sure it's even harder going from one to three, but things do get better. The babies get older and their needs diminish. But it took me about four months to feel like things started to normalize a bit. At least you are nursing them right? That's love. (Not to say that bottle feeding isn't love, but I'm just saying nursing isn't easy and doing double time sounds challenging to say the least. It's a sacrifice.) You know you love your girls and they will also know it. They also don't know any different, so what you give them is what they know and come to expect. Good luck!!! I hope this makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI have a really good friend who has twins who are now mid-twenties. I first knew them all when the twin girls were just under ten. One day, my friend and I were just talking about what it was like to nurse twins (she exclusively nursed). She had this really organized system to get them fed. She would nurse the first baby for five minutes and then switch, let the second baby nurse for 15 minutes and then go back to the first baby. On the next feeding, she reversed who got to start. This was of course before they were old enough to be simultaneously nursed. Sorry, this is so involved. I do have a point. :) Anyway, as she was telling me, I said, "well that works out well that baby #2 only had to wait five minutes." She answered, "have you ever heard a hungry baby cry for five whole minutes? It's an eternity!" Her shared experience totally left a mark on me how it would be so hard to have to divide those basic things. But, I will say, her daughters, who are now well into their 20's are beautiful, well-adjusted girls. One was even on that NBC show, The Sing-Off.
ReplyDeleteAnd mom guilt...that's the worst plague ever. We all get it about something but should promptly invite it to leave! I'm sure you are doing an amazing job with your trio of girls! You go girl!